Tipsy Apes

Hamburg is a rock and roll town, especially when it comes to metal. Wilson Gil and I rolled out last Friday to perform at one of the oldest rocker hangouts in Hamburg: the Tipsy Apes. A perfect place to hold the film release party for a short-Western film that was created by metal head Flint, from the band Razorheads.
The Tipsy Apes is in a field in the middle of no where on the outskirts of Hamburg. Spooky and isolated, with no one around to file a noise complaint. There’s a big covered stage, a cabin with couches and a bar, and a stand that sells killer sausages. The audience area is simply open field, with a bonfire usually raging off to the side.
Wilson Gil’s country-rock set was a little out of place sandwiched between three metal bands, but it somehow worked. Wilson Gil rocked out hard, harder than any of the metal heads that were at the Tipsy Apes that night, so he made even the most country of his songs seem totally raw and bad ass. Plus, he had a hot belly dancer to spice things up!
For our last song, “Solid Gold”, this crazy drunk chick got up on stage with us. She was dancing with me and getting really into it, so I was shaking it with her, and then she grabbed me and poured her drink over my head! Rum and coke all through my hair, in my coin bra and costume. My hair was so sticky by the end of the night that it didn’t even budge when I took out my ponytail holder. I think I’ve found a replacement for hair gel!
I was a good sport about the whole thing, though, ‘cause that’s rock and roll, baby.
I also learned a new dance move that night- head banging. Seriously, there is an art to doing it properly. At least, that’s the conclusion I came to after watching a guy do his head banging move for twenty minutes straight. You stand with your legs slightly apart, with your hands placed on your thighs, and your back slightly hunched. Then you hang your head down so your hair is dangling, and then it’s something like “down, down, down, up!” and you throw your hair back. I wanted to audition that guy for “So You Think You Can Dance”! But I figured that he probably wouldn’t go for it.

On My Dirty Mattress

My fiance, Wilson Gil, has this song called “Dirty Mattress”. He was inspired one day when he saw a dirty mattress on the street while walking through the Lower Haight in San Francisco. The lyrics go something like, “That stain is from you. This stain is from me. Who could t hat other stain be? On my dirty mattress!”
The first time I saw Wilson’s band, the Willful Sinners, perform the song was at the Lusty Ladies Peepshow Holiday Party. In addition to live bands, the party also featured burlesque, numerous women clad in fetish gear (some wearing only a thong), a room for lap dancing

, and lube wrestling. I had just moved from a little village in the Canadian countryside to the grand city of San Francisco, so it goes without saying that I was a bit out of my element.
Well, talk about breaking me out of my shell. For “Dirty Mattress”, Wilson had a real dirty mattress up on stage with him and he had solicited about fifteen of the Lusty Ladies to dance and have a pillow fight on the mattress while the Willful Sinners played the song. And I was right up there with them, in a Catholic school girl outfit, shaking my ass and whacking various Lusty Ladies with a pillow. The best part was when Wilson crashed down on the mattress at the end of the song and we all dog piled on top of him. There were boobs and asses all over the place!
Okay, now flash forward to present day Berlin. Wilson and I are walking in Prenzlauerberg, and what do we see? The nastiest of dirty mattresses lying on the sidewalk next to a wall covered in graffiti. Wilson just so happened to have his guitar with him, so he busted out with a rendition of “Dirty Mattress” all the while jumping up and down and dancing on the dirtiest mattress I have ever seen. I couldn’t even imagine where those stains must have come from!
Wilson finished the song by shouting, “Wilson Gil! Berlin!” and was greeted by a huge round of applause. A whole crowd had gathered to watch the antics. So, I guess it’s the same in cities everywhere, whether you’re in Germany or California. There’s always a dirty mattress lying on a sidewalk somewhere, just waiting for someone to pass by and wonder, “Eeew, who could that stain be?”

To see the video of the Lusty Ladies Peepshow performance of “Dirty Mattress”, go to www.wilsongil.com